so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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