I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
