we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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