Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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