we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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