Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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