break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize