it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
