Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize