Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
