I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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