what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
