he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
