why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
