I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
