i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
