I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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