Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
