dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
