My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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