Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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