Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
