My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
