I think I am morally bankrupt
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize