Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
