I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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