Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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