it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
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