When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize