My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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