i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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