1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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