Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
