is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
