You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
