It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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