I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize