You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize