They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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