He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Do vagina's smell?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
