I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
