I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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