Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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