Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
