things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
