some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
