FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
