I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
