Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize