Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
