I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
