I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize