5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
