i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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