The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
