really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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