That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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