Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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