Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
