she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
