i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
