It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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