this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
