shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Are my feet made of real feet?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize