im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
