He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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