Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
