What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
