Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
