they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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