he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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