She's JV to your varsity
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
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