that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
