she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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