Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
