Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
