Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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