You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
