Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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